Hello there. Crazy days that we live in. I am moving. I am leaving my beloved Leadville. I feel positive about this move. I am having a hard time wording my feelings but I am going to try......I have been blessed with so many opportunities and quite frankly spoilings in Leadville. I feel like I am no longer doing good things with my power there....see this is where it starts to sound super heroish....... It is the the one thing that has gone through my head though when considering this move.
I am realistically excited about about this move I suppose. I fear my down spiral which is o.k. I know it is there and I know I will make it through to the other side. It's the lonliness....the darn lonley feelings. I am moving to be with my family. My sister and brother-in-law just had a baby....a life changing....beautiful little girl. I weep just thinking and writing about her. I am so in love. She smiles, I weep, she cooes and I melt. I talk to her pushing the stroller...I swear I could hit a wall and not know it. She is my focus.
I am going to miss my roots, my adult made family that I have created in Colorado. That is scary and big and real to me. I make strong connections with people. My friends are my world. It is such a strange feeling....I am sitting here, in the dark, in my sisters house, while she and David make this great meal and my heart is breaking for a place that I haven't even left yet. On the other hand, I know that this is a good move. I know it is a posivite move and I am happy that I have decided to embark on it. That is my logical side....even emotionally I think it is an amazing step for me...the stagnation that has filled me as of late has left fear brimming over with self doubt and mind chatter. I am excited to kick out my crap and grasp on to my deep spiritual knowing that I have placed aside for a while. ....The universe only brings me good...I am safe!
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16 comments:
you are ok and will remain so. you will be loving that sweet little girl and her family and she/they will be loving you right back. this is a brave move on your part and i think it's a good one. love you
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